Blessings again to all for the Feast of St. Expedite, the swift intercessor and expedient chariot to our souls! For our annual offering to the wondrous saint, I’ve teamed up with Mahigan of Kitchen Toad to deliver a set of tools and ritual implements alongside revamped and reinvigorated versions of our staple offerings, with a surprise episode of The Frightful Howls You May Hear to top it all off! This year’s products primarily invoke that which claws at the heels of the saint, the ever-incessant one that croaks “whatever may be, may it be tomorrow”. The title of this post, and of course the work itself, invokes a Serbo-Croatian adage that I learned from Sfinga: “Uždi svecu jednu svijeću, a đavolu dvije,” which translates to “light one candle to the saint, and two to the devil,” itself emphasizing the importance of giving the devil his due. We’ve told the story before, but for those unfamiliar the crow-devil lurking in the shadow of Expedite, I can not recommend highly enough both Sfinga’s article about her incredible “Cras” Powder (wherein she describes the vision she had that started this journey), and Episode 27: Hodie Et Cras: The Feast of Saint Expedite with Mahigan Saint-Pierre for additional explorations of the darker aspects of St. Expedite, more recent experiences from the entire crew, a comprehensive review of the collection and musings on its very existence, and a detailed account of the creation of each implement.
Cras
The Cras (“Tomorrow) materials are being sold through Kitchen Toad, being a part of an exclusive bundle [LINK] with Mahigan’s own Cras chaplets and candles. If you would like to purchase any of these pieces as well as peruse Mahigan’s additions, please see his store page [HERE] while supplies last.
Double Fast Unluck Powder:
A play on the famous Hoodoo formula, double fast unluck powder is primarily a jinxing and cursing powder designed to bring misfortune. Emphasis is however placed on the exploration of the “left” and “right” sides of each of the offerings in this collection; teasing the benefic out of the malefic and vice versa. This powder can be used in works intended to liberate people from addictions of various kinds, and incorporated into aggressive protections against predatory or otherwise malevolently inclined spirits.
What follows is a selection of the ingredients that went into the powder:
- Ashes of losing lottery tickets
- Ashes of various talismans that protect against spirits
- Dust from the graves of those whose deaths were called “freak accidents”
- Dust and rust from many cemetery gates
- Dust from many crossroads
- Failed exams
- Traffic tickets
- Fixed rice
- Poppy seeds
- Sesame seeds
- Black mustard seeds
- Pepper seeds of various kinds
- Vandal roots
- A beheaded crow, found crushed underfoot
- Saturnian powder elected by Salt
- Martial powder elected by Salt
- Mars in Scorpio powder elected by Salt
- Small pinch of Sfinga’s Cras powder
Expedite’s Shackles:
Be it the chains that hold the soon to be martyred Expeditus in his cell, or the talons of the crow that beckon him into tomorrow, our marvelous saint has been bound by myriad different fetters. This implement aims to recreate the bonds that can be placed on hostile spirits, be it through oath, bind, or threat. We describe a few situations in the episode in which Expedite’s shackles can be used, be it for good (in the case of restraining the spirit of a problem, thus eliminating it by pushing it to a never-instantiating tomorrow) or for ill (causing procrastination, subterfuge, confusion, and a complete halting of fortune in enemies).
Each copy of the shackles is roughly one meter in length, cut from the black chain that encircles the statue. The chain was sprinkled with dozens of herbs, dirts, dusts, and powders over the course of its consecration. To one end is attached the claw of a crow; to the other is a charm representing chains of St. Expedite’s shadow containing additional crow materia and various herbs and powders (including a hefty batch of double fast unluck powder).
Much of the crow materia of these chains was sourced directly from a crow that I found immediately outside of my home right after musing aloud that I would like to find a crushed (but with the head, wings, and claws still perfectly intact) specimen somewhere in the wild for this collection. Only ten minutes at most passed between my uttering of this wish and my neighbor and close friend, who had just walked by the building, calling me to ask if I had seen the crow right outside. Its main claw went to anoint the idol of the Crow-Devil, and to replace the severed hand over the statue, such that it may dangle candles from both ends of the wick over the void where its head once stood.
As an example of workings that can be done with the shackles, my personal chain is here being used to restrain the action of an exploitative boss. The statue sits atop a floor tile taken from the workplace of the client and is adorned with the square of Saturn, and the chain binds a charm bundle containing his links alongside seeds of confusion and compulsion. Temporarily affixed to the opposite of the chain as the claw is a key.
Hodie
Of course, as we must ultimately triumph over Tomorrow with a proclamation of Today, some old favourites are making a return this year to lend a hand in doing so.
First and foremost, my Mercury in Nutmeg charms are back and better than ever, featuring two major changes compared to previous editions. Most importantly, the amalgam contained within each nutmeg has been improved after much experimentation to correspondingly increase the efficacy and potency of the talisman. Secondly, I’ve worked to improve the seal that keeps everything inside the Nutmeg contained, and I’m finally comfortable enough with its durability to provide these talismans in a form more familiar to their folkloric counterparts: a green flannel mojo hand, containing the nutmeg alongside various luck and money drawing herbs.
Additionally, each of my three Expedite oils is stocked and reinvigorated, having received another year’s worth of prayers and offerings upon the altar and fed with tinctures to the purpose.
Mercury in Nutmeg, 4th Edition
The Mercury in Nutmeg charms once again rear their heads! These talismans for all manner of luck-enhancement can be petitioned with your desires in mind in order to bring about expedient and radical changes in fortune. Adding another year of continuous experimentation with the aim of refining the ensorcelled components therein to the methods used in creating these talismans, the 4th edition of the Mercury in Nutmeg charms contain an improved variation of the amalgam that drives the spirit onward, born of metallurgical and alchemical processes hard won from the various patrons of these arts. Additionally, the method for sealing the nutmeg itself has been improved, allowing the form of the talisman to be much closer its folkloric counterparts: a green flannel mojo hand containing the nutmeg itself alongside various luck and money drawing herbs. As with previous editions of this talisman, a cantrip similar to the “knotting the wind” charm has been included to unleash a brief yet intense boost in luck in a critical moment. In order to use this extra boost in power, untie the red cord affixed to the talisman and burn it, scattering the ashes to the wind.
Those who have purchased previous editions report best results when carrying the charm with them, or keeping the it situated in work spaces, on computer desks, or inside the cash registers of their businesses. As these talismans are very much alive, the spirit should be nourished with offerings of strong, dark liquors such as whiskey, brandy or dark rum, tobacco smoke, red, green, or yellow candles, and praise upon successful completion of tasks.
All 4th edition Mercury in Nutmeg charms have been sold! Thank you all so much for the support!
Oil of St. Expedite: Gold Edition by B. Key
An oil built at the guiding hand of St. Expedite over many years and just as many iterations, bringing about countless successful workings, manifestations, and results for both myself and others along the way. This edition of the oil serves as a distilled offering to the Saint himself, primarily stirring him and his legions to action and guiding his virtues and sympathies into workings under his auspices. I recommend applying seven drops to the right foot of an image of St. Expedite upon the reception of this oil in order to complete a final personalized consecration. Cinnamon bark, cinquefoil, coconut flesh, coffee beans, dice, eucalyptus, lemongrass, blessed palm fronds from a Catholic church, crumbs from multiple pound cakes offered to St. Expedite in exchange for successful workings in his name, roses fed holy water from three different Catholic churches and offered to St. Expedite on Easter, whole vanilla beans, wintergreen leaves, skeleton keys, scraps of cloth from a cape that adorned a statue of St. Expedite, dirt from various shrines to St. Expedite, gold, silver, a carrier oil kept and fed on St. Expedite’s shrine for one year from feast to feast, and additional vegetable, animal, and mineral components. 1 fluid ounce / 30 milliliter amber glass dropper bottle.
$60.00
Oil of St. Expedite: Red Edition by B. Key
An oil that expands on a traditional Hoodoo formula to bring luck in all forms, especially in financial and amatory workings. This edition of the oil was tested through cash bingo games at a local bar, thoroughly satisfying my expectations after winning 4 of the 7 games played, much to the delight, or chagrin, of the bar’s patrons. Alkanet roots, multiple varieties of cinnamon bark, coconut flesh, blessed palm fronds from a Catholic church, roses fed holy water from three different Catholic churches and offered to St. Expedite on Easter Sunday, whole vanilla beans, scraps of cloth from a cape that adorned a statue of St. Expedite, a carrier oil kept and fed on St. Expedite’s shrine for one year from feast to feast, and additional vegetable, animal, and mineral components. 1 fluid ounce / 30 milliliter amber glass dropper bottle.
$60.00
Oil of St. Expedite: Green Edition by B. Key
An oil that expands on a traditional Hoodoo formula to bring monetary, financial, and business success, along with myriad other forms of wealth. This oil’s construction was made possible only after the Gold and Red editions brought the material and financial components included within. Shredded currency won through gambling using the Red Oil, multiple varieties of cinnamon bark, cinquefoil, hyssop, indigo powder, lemongrass, multiple varieties of mint, coconut oil, sunflower oil, sweet almond oil, wormwood, gold, a carrier oil kept and fed on St. Expedite’s shrine for one year from feast to feast, and additional vegetable, animal, and mineral components. 1 fluid ounce / 30 milliliter amber glass dropper bottle.
$60.00
A Trinity of Oils by B. Key
For those who wish to purchase a set of of each Gold, Red, and Green editions of Expedite Oil, a discounted rate is available. Three 1 fluid ounce / 30 milliliter amber glass dropper bottles.
$160.00
The products herein are made in limited quantity and offered on a first-come, first-serve basis as curios only. Please allow up to one week from the time of purchase to package and ship each order. An email with tracking information will be sent to the address associated with the PayPal account used at purchase.
For those interested in bespoke work or wholesale opportunities, contact me [here]. For additional services such as divination, spellwork for hire, and sorcerous consultation and coaching, check out my services page [here].
Thank you, St. Expedite, for guiding my hands.
With Cunning & Command 